Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
