Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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