so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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