Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
