It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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