Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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