So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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