That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
