Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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