It's like God shit irony all over that family
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
