i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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