her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
