I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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