Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
