Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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