The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
