I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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