Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
