Duck Duck Cougar?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
