he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
