it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
