My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
