you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
