someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
