I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
