I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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