Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
