But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
