five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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