i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
