You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
