Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
