all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
