you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
