guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
