oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
