woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you made out with another girl for some wings
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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