you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
