Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i think i just lost a toe
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
