perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
