So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
