yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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