just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
