I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
