I smell stomach acid.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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