Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
