I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
