I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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