Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
