Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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